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I piled all the Grace I received and changed that into my own works.

Hello, my name is Laureen Imbeywa Mbada,a pastor's wife currently ministering in Nyeri County. As i attended the workshop, at first I thought my heart was ok and that my spiritual life was fine. Until when the senior pastor spoke of us closing our hearts and hiding darkness therein. My heart was dark too but I was following my own thought thinking that I was ok.

Samonim Lauren workshop Testimony.jpg

In the genealogy of Jesus, only dirty and wicked women were able to enter. But on the contrary, not the one who was dirty and wicked instead, I was a just and correct person like Joseph in Matthew 1. Even though as a minister am a disqualified person, I have been able to experience the Grace of God for the past year.

I piled all the Grace I received and changed that into my own works.

So I thought I was doing just fine as a result, I became a right and correct person and even couldn't receive rebuke in my heart.

attending a mind education workshop.jpeg Group discussion during a mind education training workshop

With my heart, I was blocking off the will of God from being accomplished. God didn't work though just and correct people but wicked like Tamar, Rahab, Bathsheba, and others. I was able to see how wicked I really was. In reality, there is nothing that I have done and been successful except by the Grace of God. But I was there thinking am ok and blocking off the will of God. How wicked is that? I was able to realize that am evil and very wicked before God. I thought I had some, my best. But with my best I only did the work of going against God, inflicting pain to my husband and the people around me. All that I touched became defiled but Satan had deceived me to think am fine, right and correct.

Pastors and Samonims workshop.jpeg Pastor's wives take a group photo during the workshop

I saw the end of my life was a complete failure. I had that condition of the heart that couldn't help but fail. In my ministry, my marriage and also leading the people around me to pain and misery. It felt so hopeless looking into myself. Though am nothing am easily deceived by Satan to think am ok. But I also heard that God says ' I will help you, I will make you, I will establish you.' God wants to destroy all that is of me so that Jesus can become the king in my heart. God wants to plant His word in my heart. Just as He spoke eagerly to Abraham in Genesis 17, He also eagerly says to me that He is the one who will do it for me. I have nothing to do but only believe in His word. I was so hopeful that God will establish His word in my heart and He has already changed me to a man after His own heart. I glorify the Lord for His Grace. Thank you

Samonim Lauren workshop Testimony family photo2.jpg